


Slow

by unnaming_me



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:47:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24851047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unnaming_me/pseuds/unnaming_me
Summary: Geez, slow down.He can’t slow down. The drink hits the back of his throat, burns, but he barely registers it. He knocks back another, and another, and another until the numbness settles in, a welcome friend. More welcome than what he’d feel without it, at least.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	Slow

**Author's Note:**

> My musings on Caleb's character + Slow spell.
> 
> Wrote this a while ago, around Spring 2019.

* * *

_Geez, slow down._

He can’t slow down. The drink hits the back of his throat, burns, but he barely registers it. He knocks back another, and another, and another until the numbness settles in, a welcome friend. More welcome than what he’d feel without it, at least. 

_slow down_

He keeps running. He runs from the city, from his home, from who he was, what he was - _what he’d done_ \- until he runs out of _to and from_ , until all that’s left to do is run aimlessly, heading towards nowhere, running away from nothing. 

_slow down_

He learns. What else is there to do, for a man on the run. So he learns. He learns all the spells, _just_ within his reach, but still out of his grasp. He keeps running, but learns how to make himself _slow_ just enough to learn, but never enough to dwell on why he’s learning. He learns just what one man on the run can do on his own. And he learns what just one man cannot. 

_slow down._

Nott is a wall, a barricade, a fortress. Blocks his way, keeps him contained, prevents him from running. But the urge is still there, lying in wait. He pretends he’s done running, settles into his new skin as _Caleb Widogast_ , pretends he was never running, because who he was is no longer who he is, and who he is has nothing to run from. But he can’t shake the urge, knowing what could be lurking around the corner. 

_slow_

But his running catches up to him, forces him to spill his darkest secrets - well, most of them. And the urge rears its ugly head, and this time, he thinks, he’ll start running again, because now he has something to run from, but he surprises himself when he doesn’t. He chooses to stay - at least, until he fixes the damage who he was caused. 

_down_

He never thought he’d be with this motley crew that accepted him as who he is, and accepts him as who he was, that see him running and decide to _run with_ , this ragtag crew of runaways, that see him ready to bolt and tell him “ _don’t run”_ and leave the implied _from us_ to hang in the air. And he thinks, maybe this time, he won’t run. Maybe now, he doesn’t have to run - from who he is, from what he is, from _what he’s done_. Maybe, with this crew, this _Mighty Nein_ , he can stop running, catch his breath, and finally 

slow down. 

  
  
  
  



End file.
